Nourishing Flourishing

To say, “It’s been a while!” would be kind of an understatement, eh? I have literally hundreds of comments and emails I am behind on responding to, and my blog in general needs a great deal of spring cleaning! Firstly, I sincerely hope that my absence was not interpreted to be a dismissal of your readership; I can’t tell you how much I appreciate all the kind emails and messages I received during my blogging break. I am so grateful to be connected (albeit it in a virtual format for now) with so many wonderful people (that’s you). I had hoped to be posting on a semi-regular basis during grad school, but ultimately, I just needed to step back for a while. I’d like to give you a (rather lengthy, visually unappealing) explanation of what led to to this, if you’d like one. (And if not, that’s ok! Recipes will come in time.) This might give you a sense of what to expect in the year to come.

As some of you noticed, after I began the blog last year around this time, I went from blogging daily to every-other-day, to a couple times a week, and this trend continued until I finally pulled the plug for a few months. I know some of you have asked if there is something more than just grad school/work/life events that influenced this, and I want to be frank and say yes, most definitely. I’ve had this blog up for about a year now (maybe even exactly a year, actually!), and I’m really thankful to have had the past couple months to reflect on how it’s grown and changed over that span, and how I’d like to see it continue to evolve.

When I first started blogging, I was trying to put this site “out there” as much as possible. I quickly learned that leaving comments on more popular blogs’ posts would pique interest in that blog’s readers, who would then click the link to my blog and see who I was. I also went from having no social media, to a Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, etc. I noticed how my readership skyrocketed (at least, comparatively) the more active I was in all these areas. It added many more little facets to my life and schedule!

And I kind of hated it.

I had to be on the computer constantly. And much of what I spent my time doing didn’t really matter to me. Important things were neglected. Instead of being outside hiking or doing the other activities that nourish flourishing in my life, I was in front of a screen, trying to do what a “good blogger” does — networking, reading lots of other blogs, leaving comments on them, tweeting frequently, etc. (Note that interacting with you all through email and such is absolutely not included in this category — it is very fulfilling to connect with you!)

All that busyness and frequently superficial interaction was draining — it takes a lot of effort for my type of personality. I am a very simple person; I thrive on minimalism, and focus. I love close-knit community, and interacting with people in personal ways. I like depth, not breadth. I’m also not a fan of being in front of a screen of any kind much. As a result, social media and much of the blog-world generally overwhelms and overstimulates me – everything happens quickly, with a lot of enthusiasm, and on a mass level. This makes my life feel crowded, chaotic, and complicated.

Honesty is at the top of my list of values, so I’m going to be transparent, especially for the many of you who have emailed me about what it’s like to operate a blog. “Putting the blog out there” by zealously commenting on some blogs I didn’t really care about, or tweeting constantly without much purpose, etc., was a very uncomfortable experience for me. That lifestyle does not jive at all with the above-mentioned characteristics that make me who I am. I felt like I wasn’t being genuine, because let’s get real — I often wasn’t. Who really cares about another picture of oatmeal? And yet I was leaving comments on others’ blog posts that were pretty much just a picture of oatmeal. I kept trying to fit a mold that didn’t reflect my vision for this blog. I was forcing it, because I didn’t want a blog I’d worked really hard on to just fall into the anonymous sector of the internet, without much significance. I assumed the more people who read my blog, the better it must be.

After the second blogging conference I went to, I accepted a very unsettling realization that had been dawning on my for a while: most of the blogging world is… ridiculous. Some of the most popular blogs are without significance. And some of the best blogs, by contrast, are under the radar. The factors which determine whether a blog is read by many or few consists of a lot of name-dropping, link-dropping, snuggling up to “bigger” bloggers, technodrama, being constantly connected to social media, and luck. There are millions of blogs out there, and often the ones that are viewed as successful (i.e., have a huge readership and probably serve as a primary source of income for the blogger) do so merely because they showed up at the right time, not because they are continuously relevant. (Of course, I don’t mean to imply that there are no blogs, etc., that are meaningful or useful — just some!)

I have never had the intention or desire that my blog will blossom into something “big”. But somehow I got caught up in trying to make sure my blog simply stayed on the radar, and I burnt out. I must confess that I really don’t want to be in front of a screen more than I have to. I just want to put my recipes and experiences out there in the hopes that someone finds them helpful — that was actually why I started the blog in the first place — thanks to requests for recipes and (non-medical) advice on healthy living from relatives and friends.

This is but a humble blog with a humble purpose. To achieve that purpose, I really had to stop being a hypocrite and nourish flourishing in my life by prioritizing real, non-virtual activities and relationships. Honestly, I don’t read blogs consistently anymore; I visit two or maybe three to get recipe ideas on occasion, but that’s about it. I have been detoxing my time and brain space from all the superflua out there (and goodness knows, in this tech era, superflua abounds), and it feels awesome.

So… I shan’t be as present online as I was when I began this blog. I will be trying to post as much as I can, but I am also realistic enough to admit that grad school + work + relationships/family does not = a ton of time for blogging.  I’ll try to be consistent by posting a couple times a month at least, and always on a Sunday.

Part of the reason I’m sharing all this is because I know some of you are feeling overwhelmed.  Maybe it’s not blogs as much as it is some other internet/TV/smartphone/etc. habit that eats up a lot of your time. I can only say that I have benefited so much from taking a step back and reevaluating the economy of my time, if you will — how I spend and invest my time, and whether it’s beneficial or detrimental to my personhood and goals. I have cut out the stuff that doesn’t produce good things in my life, and continue to ask myself what activities are really helping shape me into the person I want to become, and what’s distracting me and eating up my time and energy without good reason. So, if you are thinking about a technology detox — go for it. And that includes Nourishing Flourishing! Unplug from all, or some, and see how (or if) it changes you. Then assess next steps.

Finally, here’s to another year of blogging, hopefully one that is better than the last, and filled with even more lessons and recipes!

Much love to you. Thanks for reading.

<3

Do you feel like your philosophy on technology has changed over the past year?

P.S. If you emailed me and haven’t received a response, please let me know!

P.P.S. I do not plan to respond to all the comments that have built up over the past few months; for that, I sincerely apologize. If you asked a question, I will try to get to it as soon as I’m able. I will continue to do my best to respond to comments from henceforward, I just won’t be backtracking on everything from November ’til January. Thanks for understanding!

Note: This isn’t meant to convince you to be vegetarian, judge you for not being vegetarian (seriously, would never do that), or anything along those lines. They’re just some ideas if you want to explore something different this week. No pressure, no preaching, no crazy. Just ideas, if you want them! If not, feel free to skip this post. No offense taken ; )

You want to know something hilarious? I don’t eat meat, and I don’t know when National Vegetarian Month is. Well, no, I do now — after I wrote a post about it last night. About 5 months early. Oops. Well, why waste a good post, right?! I thought it was too good to be true that National Celiac Awareness Month and National Veg Month would coincide. It might as well be National Nourishing Flourishing Month. Anywho, here are some good challenges for the remaining week of…Meatless May. Yes… Meatless May. Because that was totally my intention when I wrote this. Yes… (Oh! Just found out it’s National Vegetarian Week in the U.K. Maybe that’s where I went wrong…)

If you take me up on these little challenges, I would love to hear your reflections.(P.S. Still behind on comments…sorry! Catching up today hopefully.) If you don’t care, no worries. I just wanted to post this because I’ve gotten a lot of questions about vegetarianism lately, and I thought I could try to show that this lifestyle is not so strange after all. Knowledge is power, as they say (and by “they” I mean Schoolhouse Rock)… So if you feel up to it, use the last bit of this unofficial, non-national, self-imposed meatless month to explore something different.

Challenge #1: Don’t eat meat for the next week. As in, no seafood too. Straight-up, old school, 2 legit 2 quit no meat. Some of you may scoff at this, but if this seems easy, I would say, “And read all the labels on everything you consume, and ask lots of questions if you go out to eat, and put down that Guinness, and get rid of the marshmallows, gummy worms, jelly, worcestershire sauce, salad dressing, and cheese made with rennet.” Trickier than it seems initially. This little exercise might help you to better understand why your veg friend is a little paranoid about ingredients.

Challenge #2: Watch Earthlings, Food Inc., or Forks Over Knives. I’m actually taking myself up on this one! I never see movies in theatres (well, unless it’s the new Harry Potter, in which case we plan our trip to visit my family around its release date, and watch it with my dad. He’s a fan, to say the least. And considering we drive that far to celebrate with him, we just might be too…); it saves us a serious amount of cash, and at the same time strengthens our Patience muscle. So, I probably won’t be watching Forks Over Knives yet, despite being curious. I will be viewing Earthlings, though. And from what I hear…I’m going to have a hard time getting through it! But I don’t want to make excuses for choosing not to know something, so…here goes. As with all documentaries, I plan to take the information with a grain of salt; good research matters to me. Either way, I’ll make sure to post my thoughts afterwards.

Challenge #3: Start reading a vegetarian blog. No, this isn’t shameless self-promotion (though I am good at that). I just think exposing ourselves to other perspectives can be beneficial — not in an “I’m-now-becoming-vegetarian-too” way, though. Instead, it’s that vegetarianism suddenly doesn’t seem so foreign and one dimensional, and we learn to empathize with other’s convictions. (And hopefully realize they aren’t judging us constantly.) Plus, you save money when you cook vegetarian food! This is a great way to get recipes and ideas along those lines, especially when hosting vegetarian friends. My suggestions? Peas and Thank You, Daily Garnish, No Meat Athlete, and Edible Perspective.

Challenge #4: Have an open conversation with a vegetarian. It’s not about me trying to get you into a conversion-conversation. Not even remotely. If they get preachy or damning, politely change the topic (and accept our apologies for this person. Oy.). But as much as you can, try to understand where the person is coming from. I can tell you that when people really hear my position, and — though in the end they may respectfully disagree — make me feel as if they’ve genuinely given it the dignity of real consideration, it gives me such encouragement. And that encouragement comes not from the thought that I might have influenced their personal ethic or anything, it comes purely from feeling like I’m being treated as an intelligent peer, rather than a label or stereotype. Encourage your vegetarian friends by showing that you value their lifestyle, even if you might not fully agree with it.

What do you think? Would you try one of these to better understand the vegetarian lifestyle?

If you are already vegetarian and have done all these challenges, what would you add?

Well, we’re on the road (yes — again) today. One of the many nice things about being home is that my parents have a kitchen that is larger than a king size bed. Unlike mine. Don’t get me wrong, I love our cozy little kitch, but I also love having room to work, and abundant sources of natural light for picture taking. So. Yeah.

In between recipes (and locations), I wanted to share a few random things with you — the things that are nourishing flourishing in my life right now. As I discuss on here ad nauseam frequently, health is something that happens from the inside out; the more we discover and/or adapt to what best nurtures our overall well-being (physical, mental, spiritual, relational), the more we are able to cultivate growth of all kinds in ourselves.

Here’s what’s giving me life at the moment, in big ways, and small ways…

Drinking this tea like it’s my job. Holy cow — where has this been all my life?! With a few drops of stevia, it’s like healthy Kool-Aid. Like drinking happiness. Like memories of summer days gone by — MC Hammer tapes, scrunchies, and all. Ah. Perfect summertime comfort! (It’s also kept me from eating when I was just anxious, not hungry. #Win)

Reading Plato’s Apology in the original Greek. I know this sounds utterly bananas (b-a-n-a-n-a-s!), but learning an ancient language at hyper-speed was a huge turning-point for me and my (internal) Crazies. I totally demolished all the negative voices in my noggin that told me I was too stupid, not disciplined enough, blah blah blah. When I keep persevering in studying the subjects I find important, I’m not just feeding my brain and academic knowledge; I’m also affirming and nurturing my abilities as the unique person I am, with specific interests and goals. Does anything feel better than meeting a goal?

Yoga. It’s making a comeback in my schedule…and I could NOT be more excited. I feel like yoga is almost a panacea for me. Almost… Anyone else?

Going to bed at a reasonable hour. I haven’t mastered this yet, but I’m getting closer! I am really, really looking forward to being an old lady this summer. Really.

Reading for pure fun again. Yes. Fun. Towards the end of my college career, I hated being an English major. I felt overwhelmed and disillusioned with novels — we were constantly dissecting them with one outlandish literary theory or another. The magic was lost in the agenda-guided analysis. Then, I had my last English course. We read authors I hadn’t really encountered much before. And my heart started beating again. Since then, I’ve been so busy — whether it was with working full-time, or studying full-time — I just kind of let things slide for a while. No more! I’m choosing three good books to chew on. Feel free to leave a suggestion in the comments if you have a life-changer.

Rich, long, and lively talks with people I love.

Accepting myself where I am, celebrating my victories, and continuing to press on with challenges.

Getting my creativity on again. Excited to post about these developments… Oh. Oh yes.

Praying, meditating, and letting myself be quiet, thankful, and receptive.

Sharing recipes, thoughts, and my life on the blog, and connecting with you.

Laughing. A LOT.

Being very transparent about my needs. And right now, I’ll be honest and say I really need some rest. We’re leaving at dawn for another trip. Can you believe it? I don’t think we’ve ever traveled this much in a consecutive streak before. Whew…

What’s nourishing flourishing in your life right now?

(Featured image of sprout courtesy of D Sharon Pruitt)

I was hesitant to publish this, but ultimately came to the conclusion that this is a good topic for discussion. Um…hope I’m not wrong. xoxo Thanks for being patient if I get a little rambly.

When we were traveling back from Nebraska, we came across a familiar sight: caged animals on their way to slaughter. Now if your immediate reaction is to scoff and leave this page, try not to assume too much. Trust me to be an empathetic person all-around. I don’t care only about animals. I care about humans, too. And that means I don’t want you to feel any less loved or respected because I’m posting about something that might initially seem “controversial.”  This post is not going to be judge-y, preachy, or anything in that vein. Hopefully, it won’t even be a downer, if you read the whole thing. So — please let any shields down long enough to read this little reflection with an open heart. An experience the other day has motivated me to share, and I am eager to hear your thoughts, as well.

I used to not think much about where my meat came from. I knew it was packaged, and I knew how to cook it. I was glad I didn’t have to touch it much beyond throwing it in the pan, and I was honestly relieved that someone else plucked, skinned, de-beaked, de-clawed, and otherwise disassembled my meal. I assumed that there were systems in place to do things as ethically as possible. Governments and people are responsible, moral, and thorough, right? So why worry about anything?

The other day, we drove along I-80, looking mostly at this:

And then, about the time we crossed into Colorado, we saw a strangely colored semi ahead. As we passed it, we realized feathers were flying out of it, and that the open-aired, tightly stacked cages were crammed to the absolute maximum with chickens. At 80 miles an hour.

Some were obviously dead, but packed in closely with the majority that were alive. Beaks and what remained of feet were bloody and dirty. While my in-motion pictures might not show it, I could see some of their eyes clearly through the sea of feathers.

[Note: This is not a guilt trip  -- at all. I think the worst way to persuade someone of anything is to do so by guilt. These are simply my experiences.] I encountered many people who tried to “make” me a vegetarian by pontificating at me, and telling what a terrible person I was. Guess what? That only made me want to continue to eat meat. If vegetarians were self-righteous jerks, why should I join in? It was when I was able to search on my own, with an open and honest mind, with no defenses ready, and with careful, copious reflection, that I made my decision to no longer eat animals.

This choice was a long, gradual, and  challenging, in many ways; I contemplated the ethics of my omnivorous ways for years. I think part of the reason seeing the chicken semi on the drive affected me so much was because it echoed another unsettling memory. I frequently see pigs being hauled over some of the most stormy, freezing mountain passes in Colorado. Looking at their ears torn and flapping through the holes of transporting semis, snouts and pink skin bulging through the openings because they were packed so close to each other, I used to turn away. I literally did not allow myself to think about it; it would be too depressing, too overwhelming. But at some point along the journey, I realized that I didn’t need to fear questioning. I didn’t need to have my stream of justifications at the ready. I didn’t need to be dismissive of a different ethic just because I felt threatened, or judged, or confused, or embarrassed, or ignorant, or anything else. I just needed to show some epistemological humility and admit that I probably hadn’t granted the subject serious enough thought. I wasn’t sure what I would find, but I knew that regardless of where my questions led me, I should be informed, and I should be (at least mostly) convinced that my actions were consistent with my overall philosophy and belief system.

I am not sharing all this to try to make you “go veg.” Seriously, that’s not my goal. I know many of you to be very conscientious omnivores, and you already know that I respect and love you.

I share this snapshot because — whether we eat meat or not — we ought to know where (all) our food comes from. We should see practices like the chicken semi (which is a mild example, let’s be honest) and be disturbed… again, regardless of whether we eat meat or not. Governments, businesses, and people tend to be driven mainly by bottom lines; money, power, and “efficiency” are often the primary factors in decision-making…not ethics, or integrity. However, we can begin to change that, by starting with our own personal empowerment. We can ask ourselves, companies, individuals, and leaders the hard questions. These questions and answers might be uncomfortable. We might need to dig deeper. Undoubtedly, some creativity will need to be involved as we figure out how to transition into more ethical ways of cultivating, preparing, and consuming all varieties of food. And we should be excited about this. Yes, excited! Growth springs from inquiry and challenge…and we have plenty of both at this point in history. So. Let’s do it to it!

What are some of your experiences in forming an ethics of eating?

I cannot wait to read them! : )

This has been quite the week. I am constantly reminded of how blessed I am, and this is especially true in these past few days.

For one thing, we celebrated a milestone for the BFF Manfriend — the culmination of his hard work. His Master’s graduation marked both an ending and a beginning; while we are breathing out some of the exhaustion and busyness of these past two years, we are also preparing ourselves for even more — particularly as he embarks on his PhD work come fall. While a bit chaotic, these experiences have been, and continue to be, wonderful. Perhaps that’s how just about everything feels when you are with the right person. I absolutely love adventuring through life with this guy.

Congratulations, dearest! You truly earned it.

I know I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it agin: I have amazing parents. I have never known anyone who has encountered so many challenges, and still given so freely of themselves. My mother is the embodiment of grace, compassion, mercy, patience, faith, and wonder. This is the first Mother’s Day we’ve had since her mother, my grandma (G-Funk), passed away. While I miss her more than I can ever possibly express, I am so thankful that all her good qualities live on and shine through my mother.

Can you see their resemblance?

It’s clear in their love, too. (Happy Mother’s Day, lady. I love you.)

We are presently in Nebraska, for another, less expected celebration… The celebration of my husband’s grandmother’s life. She leaves behind her a rich, beautiful legacy — the character of her children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren is just one of her many gifts to the world. And on that note, I will say I am so lucky to have a mother-in-law who is kind, welcoming, and thoughtful; she too carries on some of the best qualities of her mother.

Be sure to check out my guest post for Matt of The Athlete’s Plate! Maybe that makes up for yesterday…?

P.S. Again, I apologize for the lack of a post yesterday… With traveling, full schedules, and limited internet and time, I’m afraid there weren’t many options. Thanks for understanding and trust that posts will be back to normal soon ; )

What are you especially thankful for?

I was reflecting on how many people often remark to me that they can’t fathom my zeal for vegetables. A fair question; not everyone is madly enamored with cruciferous verdure. Even so, I think sometimes we have to learn to love the things that are best for us, that nourish our flourishing. That doesn’t mean begrudgingly shoving those brussels sprouts into your mouth, holding back your gag. Learning always necessitates allowing yourself to become open to something somewhat foreign, uncomfortable, and usually intimidating. Openness, of course, is liberating, whereas forcefulness and narrowness cause anxiety, frustration, and bitterness.

Confession: I used to hate running. I resented it. Why did I have to pound the pavement to be “healthy”? Why did I have to get up at 4:30 in the morning to do something I didn’t enjoy? Something that made me feel sick and exhausted? What was fun and nourishing about this?! But then, I stepped back. I realized that part of the reason it was no longer fun was because I felt obligated to do it. I may have wanted to run, yes — but I didn’t want to run simply because I felt I had no other options. When I had a brief one year stint in college on the cross country team (for the scholarship money, not because I was a good runner. Trust me, they were desperate.) I started to crumble physically and emotionally. I felt utterly depleted. I wasn’t running for the right reasons, I wasn’t paying attention to my body’s messages (“Hey, Katie, yeah…could you maybe, like, stop ingesting poison [gluten] constantly? Thanks, that would be super! xoxo, Yourself”), and frankly, I felt trapped. That is never, ever a way to live. Not only will you be frustrated, but you will never truly accomplish your goal in an enduring and fulfilling way.

Feeling Stuck.

I finally gave up running for a few months. I reflected on how I had come to despise something that had such potential to be fun. I recalled  the times and emotions from when I was out on the trail, focusing on nothing except my two feet and the beauty around me. iPod off. No coaches. No worries about my tempo, or calories, or anything. Just the dirt and my soles. I was fully alive. I was deeply grateful, sensing my breath, and my heart — the most fragile, but vital, parts of me. I felt simultaneously strong, empowered, free, and delicate, humbled, dependent… I was an active element of the unfathomably huge and complex reality around me, and also fully reliant upon it, and all its volatility. What a difficult and beautiful experience to articulate! Why did I only feel like that after I walked away from a promising career in Olympic running cross country and training plans?

I promise this relates to cruciferous vegetation. Promise. Relevance does not = obviousness.

Especially not with me. You know this.

I think this illustration works surprisingly well as an analogy for vegetable-loving, or any healthy change. If you try to demand something of your body, it probably is going to either 1) ignore you, or 2) get defensive, and make your life one of Dante’s Inferno circles because it’s angry. It doesn’t work. Of course, this is not an excuse to give up, and resign oneself to forever hating vegetables/exercise/whatever else you need for a flourishing life. Instead, it’s an impetus for creativity, experimentation, and growth. You can encourage yourself, rather than oppressing yourself. Your possibilities are boundless; there is no one definitive way that you must strictly follow to achieve your goal.

I no longer run much. And I am good with that. Once I allowed myself to not “need” to run in order to feel I was healthy (or perceived as healthy), all exercise became insanely enjoyable. Occasionally that included a jog, but more often it was one of the other activities I explored: strength training, yogaing, hiking, ellipticalling, stairclimbing, biking, etc. Getting the “OK” from myself to not have to run made me appreciate it so much more. Now I look at it as time to simply be, as I described above. But I wouldn’t feel that way unless I had changed my approach and opened myself to the possibility that running might not have to be what I assumed — competitive, draining, only worthwhile if done exactly like other runners. A few changes of perception were all I needed (oh, that and stopping the whole “eating poison constantly” thing…).

My parents told us that broccoli were dinosaur trees.

Um…

DINOSAUR TREES!!!

Guess who loved dinosaurs (like any little…girl….would)?! Guess who wanted to show how bad A she was even as a toddler?! Guess who is so excited even now at the mere thought of broccoli and devouring these small trees with her enormous herbivore mouth that she is throwing in a shameful but festive amount of exclamation marks?!?!!!! <— (It’s me, guys.  It’s me!!!)

Moral of the winding, long story: If you want to learn to love something, change your perspective! Approach it differently. Look at eating vegetables as an opportunity to explore something new. Don’t assume you will hate things you despised as a child. You have matured. Give yourself some credit! You don’t have to overcook your veggies to mush, like a parent might have. You don’t have to eat your greens only by eating salad after salad. You don’t have to eat what everyone else says you should (read: brussels sprouts). If you still hate them, go try something else! Why punish yourself? You can play. You can make mistakes. You can even now add wine to your food to play or cover up mistakes! So try something new. Maybe not even a new vegetable, but a new preparation method.

A great place to begin if you are trying to fall in love with vegetables is to roast them. Simply turn on your broiler, place cut up pieces of broccoli, or stalks of asparagus, or — gasp! — brussels sprouts, and drizzle some extra virgin olive oil on them, salt, and pop it in the oven. Watch closely — it will cook quickly. Give it a stir once, maybe (or not), and once you see the brown/char that you desire, chow down.

And if you hate it, no worries. There are lots of other things to try. Stay open. Stay fun. Adventure.

Tell me. What have you learned to love lately? Or what are you encouraging (not forcing) yourself to love?

Sometimes, we all have rough days. Sometimes, unnecessarily rough… There are situations in which one can handle things better. But I’m a slow learner… And apparently I like to make things more difficult than they need to be. You know the saying about taking lemons and turning them into lemonade? Well, occasionally I will just stand there staring at the lemons in horror, shouting, “WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?!” I overanalyze. Instead of saying, “Oh. Whoops! Looks like I might have made a little error there. Better do my best to fix it.”, I will just agonize over how it happened in the first place, and what this must indicate about my value as a person.

The other day, I lost my wallet. Yes. My wallet. As in, the thing that holds my money, identification, and life.

My bad.

Typically, when I do something foolish (i.e. when I’m negligent) like that, I overreact…

–> “You are a moron! Seriously, when are you going to grow up and be a real adult?!” (Never. Never is the answer… I hope.)

–> “This is so like you — ruining anything good. You had a great day and then you ended it by losing the most important thing you carry? Of course you did! Just like all the other good things you ruined in the past. [Insert stream of past failures.]”

–> “Wow. You have more zits than a teenager!” (Unrelated, my brain just likes to take advantage of any opportunity to take a jab at me.)

–> “Yes, that does make your butt look fat. And everything else, too.”

–> “You really can’t do anything right. Like — anything.”

I hardly need to go into more detail, because it’s all depressing, and ridiculous, and untrue, regardless. The main thing I want to highlight is how I (eventually) responded to these junky thoughts. I was so glad that in her guest post, Erin stated that it can be really helpful to personify your Crazies in some manner (her method is awesome). It made me feel a little less weird for doing this on a regular basis. However, instead of naming mine, I just talk to my Crazy like it’s a cheating scrub (whoa — flashback — TLC!) I’m breaking up with. I think it has something to do with listening to fem-power rock as a preteen… (’90s Alanis Morissette, anyone?)

I’ve been known to even sing at my Crazy when it gets all up in my grill with negativity. Yep. Does anyone else feel empowered by this? I like to employ songs like the one below, which I otherwise wouldn’t really listen to/acknowledge. It makes me laugh at myself, and then my thoughts start heading down a different stream. You know, the one with rationality. I’m able to step back, see the ludicrousness, and tell the thought to pack up and get gone…

And demand some (self-)Respect.

And let both my Crazy and my (logical) self know that life will go on despite my mistakes.

“You are a moron! Seriously, when are you going to grow up and be a real adult?!” –> No, I was just rushing, and need to be more careful next time. I know ancient Greek, yo. Pretty sure you can’t be a moron and learn another language. Chew on that, Crazy.

“This is so like you — ruining anything good. You had a great day and then you ended it by losing the most important thing you carry? Of course you did! Just like all the other good things you ruined in the past. [Insert stream of past failures.]” –> Um, all I did was lose a few things that are totally replaceable. Not the end of the world. Just the end of my bad driver’s license picture.

“Wow. You have more zits than a teenager!” –> I’ve been eating a lot of avocados lately. Worth it.

“Yes, that does make your butt look fat. And everything else, too.” –> I’m not fat. I work hard to be very healthy. And my butt doesn’t look bad — it looks big. Because it is. And I like it that way. Sucka.

“You really can’t do anything right. Like — anything.” –> I can’t believe I’m dignifying this with a response, Crazy. Look at my life! Awesome marriage = doing it right. Healthy = doing it right. Achieving challenging goals = doing it right. Wonderful friends = doing it right. Need I go on?

And if I’m still having trouble getting myself back in a realistic mindset, I’ll just listen to a song that I associate with success. Here is mine. I think you’ll understand why when you watch:

(Notice 1:15, 1:50, 2:00 for highlights — Thanks Caitlin for sharing on Twitter!)

Just wanted to give an example of what Think This, Not That can look like in action! : )

You can check in on the last Mix Tape Post by clicking here. With all the traveling schtuff last week, I kind of had to skip it for a week or two. But don’t fear — your Sunday morning edition of The Nourishing Flourishing Times is here again. I hope you find some of these articles and posts to be useful and thought-provoking. Or just delicious.

Good Reads

Angela @ Oh She Glows’ amazing post called “Lessons on Self-Love“, and another on recovering from negative thought-patterns and actions. Both are honest, thoughtful, practical, and encouraging.

Gena @ Choosing Raw’s analysis and response to a popular article describing eight “types” of disordered eating personalities.

This article on how those little PLU stickers on your produce can tell you whether your food is genetically modified or not.

This rocking article about parents, kids, and how we’re totally destroying our children, pretty much. (Ok, a little dramatic — but I was so grateful to see someone standing up about this!) Read the title and tell me you don’t agree.

This was one of my favorite posts to date, most likely because I feel like it is the most true-to-myself. I mess up. But I’m learning. It sounds like you guys are human too. So if you missed it, have a quick glance.

Good Eats

Cinnamon (Un) Sugar Dessert Hummus –  I tried this on my toast this morning and almost fainted. And then I tried it on apple slices and I did faint. (Again, with the dramatics…)

Sloppy Joe Lentil Posers – We found out that these are even better the next day. I didn’t really think that was possible. We will be eating these once a week now. Quite seriously.

Double Dark Chocolate Doughballs – Need I say more? Ok. I will: gluten-free, vegan, 15 minutes. Snap.

Mama Pea’s Not-Animal Crackers – These look ridiculously awesome. And it’s not just because they’re in the shape of vegetables. (They are GF and vegan too!)

(The other, ha) Katie’s No Makeup Smoothie — No makeup? Check. I’m in. Bonus: a B12 surprise. Bam! I’m drooling.

I promise, my dad was closer than he appears. And my face is probably not that wide. A bad angle on a great moment : )

Good Times

My parents are visiting! I wish I could express how happy this makes me.

Maybe the photo helps in conveying this.

<3

Any highlights from your week?

There are occasionally moments when I just verge on falling apart. In our family, we call this The Breaking Point.

We all have different “triggers,” if you will, which set a Breaking Point off. Mine tend to be over-exhaustion, sickness, hunger or eating the wrong foods, and bitter cold. (Oh, and not being in control of everything — that too…) I have gotten so, so, so much better at dealing with this. But ultimately, TBP is just a part of the human experience. Sometimes we lose our cool. Sometimes it really is a perfect storm of unfortunate events. Sometimes, we just need to have a few minutes to process that. And sometimes, processing = a Breaking Point.

In such a case, I used to let myself spiral into a crazyhole of victimization and catastrophizing, but now I see that it gets me absolutely n o w h e r e . I have learned to empathize with the part of myself that wants to have a freakout session whenever my hour/day/life might not go as I desire. I validate my emotions by first acknowledging, “This really is not fun. It’s disappointing. I can be upset — it’s ok to be upset.”

Then after validating myself, I ask: “So. What are you going to do about it?” In a conversation with two people, when Person 1 recognizes and affirms Person 2′s (perhaps unreasonable) emotions, Person 2 usually calms down because their reaction is empathized with. Understanding can go a long way. Person 2 and Person 1 can join (more reasonable) forces to reassess the situation and move forward.

Replace “Person” with “Self.” Do you pick up what I’m throwin’ down?

After I sensed the beginnings of a BP on the trip, I empathized with and validated the part of myself that was feeling guilty about not packing and preparing better for my dietary needs, resentful that I didn’t have more options, exhausted, sick, and stressed. “Yes, this is definitely not ideal, is it Self?” No. It’s not. “Ok. Welp. Shall we keep wallowing or…?”

I opted out of wallowing. It would have been boring. So… I grabbed my day and trip and sanity back. I can make the best of things. I can face challenges. I can be an adventurer. This could be an opportunity, if I have the right attitude. I needed to make my turn-around decision concrete. So. I did.

In case you can’t read my frantic writing, it says,
“I choose to have a good day — regardless of my mistakes
regardless of others’ mistakes
regardless of frustrations
regardless of exhaustion
regardless of health
regardless of how I ‘feel’ –
I choose to have a good day.
Not a perfect or delusional day — but a day with goodness nonetheless.”

I don’t mean to imply that every day is good and it’s simply a matter of our perception, or that we’re supposed to fake it as if we’re having the best day ever. When I lost two of the most important people in my life this year, it wasn’t a good day. But — each day has some little seed of goodness in it, which sprouts through even the darkest dirt. It doesn’t negate the difficulty or pain of a hard day; it simply gives us hope and guides us toward a broader perspective. Goodness is at work, springing flowers from manure… It finds a way to pierce through.

I keep returning to this little note, even now that I’m home. I need to constantly remind myself that I do, indeed, have a choice about how I approach my day, and life; I can make the best of it. Stay tuned for more on that… ; )

Do you ever write yourself notes to turn your thinking around?

How do you find goodness in hard situations?

Thanks for all your well-wishes for our trip : ) Unfortunately, it’s been kind of a rough go of it so far, but no worries — tomorrow is a new day, and I’m going to try and change my attitude from Debbie Downer Frustrated Hungry to –> Whatevs. I’ll get there. Also, sorry for being behind on comments! Our internet situation has been in.sane. I will get to them tomorrow ASAP! In the meantime, here is my fabulous bloggie friend, Erin, with a guest post for the Think This, Not That series! That will definitely turn my frown upside down. Thanks Erin! xoxo

Hi Nourishing Flourishers! I’m Erin and I write a health blog called Big Girl Feats. When Katie began writing Think This, Not That, it was as if she stole the words right out of my mouth – and put them to hilarious photoshopped pictures of Will Farrell as Mugatu. Genius? I think so.

I really connected to TTNT (it’s the new TGIF) because I, like many others, have struggled with negative self-talk, negative body image and negative thoughts for many years. I was an active child but puberty really screwed with my head, and thus, my body. I spent many years after that sedentary, sad and surly. “Why couldn’t I just be like “everyone else?” Why do I suck? Why couldn’t I be skinny? Why am I going to be like this forever??”

It wasn’t until college that I changed my eating and exercise habits, something I discussed recently on my blog. Honestly, losing 40 pounds and learning to love exercise was much easier than changing my brain. Shocker, I know. I’ve spent the last 5 years figuring out how I can remove the body bashing and negative thoughts and replace them with a positive perspective. In late 2010, I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer and had even more reason to practice these strategies. I truly believe what you think is just as (if not MORE) important than what you eat, drink and how you move your body. Learning this has been my greatest feat. (See what I did there?).

Being the practical person that I am, I want “tips” or ways to begin to change your mind. And not Martha Stewart (love you, girl) type tips where you have to quit your job and go to beekeeping school in order to create the perfect centerpiece. These are things that I do or have done that I found extremely helpful in changing my brain to Think This, Not That. As always, do what works best for you.

1. Reading and Learning.
I started out reading books specific to my issues with food and emotional eating – people like Geneen Roth (Breaking Free From Emotional Eating) and Evelyn Tribole (Intuitive Eating). After discovering the issues were deeper, I started reading about mindfulness through Tara Brach (Radical Acceptance), Pema Chodron (Start Where You Are) And this year, Brene Brown, who talks about shame and authenticity and perfectionism, Kris Carr, Deepak Chopra and more. Hearing from experts or professionals really helped me to learn I wasn’t the only one who struggled with these things, and gave me resources for a new way of thinking. I’m also lucky to have a fabuuulous book club. We read non-fiction, professional development sort of books. Sounds lame, but it’s amazing for personal growth. I’ve found that I can pull out tidbits from so many books that relate to emotional healing and positive perspectives.

1a. I’m cheating here, but my book club made me think about something super important: Support! If we’re trying to change our minds, it’s so important to connect with others who are doing the same. That might be in person, but it can also be on a website, forum, or blog (so convenient, right?).

2. Name Her (Or Him).
I can’t recall where I read or learned this, but when you start to recognize that negative voice – name it. Literally, name the voice. By naming the voice, you recognize that it’s not actually the real you. It’s the judgemental self, the scared self, the self that’s trying to keep you from achieving your goals. Over time, you will recognize when that voice starts to pipe up.

My negative voice is named Scarlett O’Hara. That’s right.

Sometimes she’s a serious whiner. I step in front of the mirror, and Scarlett pips up. “Your thighs look HUGE! Look at those zits? Ugh! And your hair? Blech. You are definitely not ready for that presentation. And you’re not that smart anyway, so why even bother?”

I catch Scarlett and stop. I pause. I smile into the mirror. I recognize her and say “Thanks, Scarlett. But I don’t need your opinions and input right now. I’m ready. I look great. I’m smart. Love you, goodbye.” Scarlett needs to know I’m in charge and that she can’t talk to me like that. Generally I do this in my head, but if she’s REALLY persistent that day, I do it out loud. (I try to do it in the bathroom or my car; not a public location where people might wonder why I’m talking to a 1930′s fictional movie character.)

3. Snap Out Of It.
Along with naming your negative voice, I also learned a technique (from my Dad when we were trying to stop biting our nails!) that helps to recognize the voice when you start doing it. Often, we want to make changes, but we don’t even know what or when we start the negative chatter because it’s such an ingrained behavior. Wear a rubber band (or hair tie) around your wrist and snap the band when you notice you’re starting to begin negative self-talk. I’m not talking about leaving red welts on your arms that alert people you need professional help - just a little snap. This causes your mind to realize “Woah, I started doing it again. Snap. Okay. Pause.” Once you’ve recognized you were talking negatively or harshly, you can insert something positive or an affirmation in that space.

4. Identify Your Triggers.
For me, many of my triggers are food. Specifically, sugar and sweets. (Katie just posted an article about sugar in her Mix Tape [Post] of Awesomeness that is so interesting!) Ironic, because these things are foods that I gravitate towards to make myself feel better. Are we starting to see the pattern here?? I feel bad, I eat the food, I feel worse, and Scarlett O’Hara comes flying out of left field in her ginormous petticoats and Southern drawl. Over the years, I have noticed that when I eat too much sugar (not just one cookie) I literally morph right in front of my eyes. My brain changes. I become The Hulk. I’m angry, snap at people, throw the dishes into the dishwasher, and stomp around. No wonder I spent 15 years of my life, sedentary, sad and surly!?

After a few minutes, it’s gone – but it’s an incredible example as to what the sugar does to my body – and my brain. I try to avoid it as much as possible. If I overindulge, I try to do better the next meal or the next day. If you haven’t started to do so, try noticing how you feel after specific foods you eat. Or things you do (clothes shopping, comparing yourself to others, talking to a specific person). Keep a journal or note it on your blog. Pretty soon you’ll notice a pattern and those things might convince you to make some changes.

5. Breathe.
This is a big one – perhaps the biggest thing I’ve learned. My negativity, anxiety and stress forms a ball in the middle of my chest. I can bring about it’s existence with just a few negative thoughts or feelings – or, you know, a visit to the radiologist while undergoing cancer treatments. Those feelings and thoughts snowball, and pretty soon I have convinced myself I’m never going to succeed, never going to survive, and will always be (x, y or z). I have learned, through yoga, meditation, and counseling, that if I breathe into that space, I can figure out what the cause of that stress ball is. I sit and close my eyes and breathe. The initial negativity always leads me to a deeper cause; the root of why I’m really feeling that way. Plus, my body gets a boost of energy, life and renewal that it needs to keep going. Breathing never fails to change my body and my mind.

If you begin to notice, you can begin to change. Get rid of the idea of perfectionism – it doesn’t exist. Baby steps. Maybe you go from one day of no nasty self-talk to two, to three and so on. Maybe you can’t go 5 minutes yet – be patient. You will get there. I hope some of these tips are helpful in getting you to Think This, Not That. It’s worth it, and so are you!

I do declare.