Sloppy Joe Lentil Poser
27 Apr
After I posted about using lentils as an inexpensive, healthier, plant-based protein source, I received a comment asking if I had any recipes using lentils. Umm…no, actually. For some weird reason, despite cooking with lentils every week, I didn’t have a single recipe on here that features them! I needed to amend this quickly — it was embarrassing; my pride was at stake. What kind of non-animal eating recipe-making fool am I? Ok. Overly dramatic. But I have been wanting to make a vegetarian Manwich substitute for months, so this finally gave me the incentive. I had an idea of what my method would be, but I got scurred (<– scared, it’s how we spell it in the ghetto. Just fyi.). So I glanced at these two rockin’ recipes from Mama Pea and Post Punk Kitchen, then got overwhelmed, and finally just did what I always do — dumped in whatever the H I wanted. And you know what? It was awesome.
I know, it looks like a lot of ingredients. But it’s easy, and you can totally handle this. Trust. <3
Ingredients:
1 onion, chopped
2 cloves garlic, chopped
2 t oregano
1/2 Tb basil
Homemade chili powder mix (recipe below — or use a couple Tb regular chili powder I suppose)
Pinch of cinnamon (literally — a pinch)
1 (6 oz) can tomato paste
1 (15 oz) can tomato sauce
2 Tb regular mustard
3 Tb agave, honey, or 100% pure maple syrup
1/2 Tb apple cider vinegar
2 Tb (healthy) ketchup (I use Annie’s agave-sweetened)
A few dashes Chipotle Tabasco (or other hot sauce, if desired)
3 C cooked lentils (sprinkle with salt first) — I used French. Because…they were on sale.
salt + pepper to taste
Recipe:
1) Over medium heat, in a tablespoon or so of extra virgin olive oil, saute onion and garlic until onions are translucent and browning. Reduce heat to medium low.
2) Add oregano, basil, and chili powder, stir.
3) Add all remaining wet ingredients and stir. Add in lentils.
4) Let simmer for 10-15 minutes, stirring occasionally to keep from sticking.
Homemade Chili Powder Recipe:
1 Tb paprika
2 t cumin
2 t garlic powder
1 t onion powder
cayenne to preference
Mix to combine.
So. Certainly this can be adapted endlessly to your tastes! For example, you might want to add a splash of barbeque sauce, or add extra lentils for a more “meaty” texture. You can sweeten it more than I did, or add extra mustard like the vinegar-lover in me wanted to. Everyone’s family probably had a different method, so adapt it to your memory’s content : ) Regardless, I strongly urge you to garnish your Sloppy, Vegan, ManGenderneutralwiches with fresh chopped onion. It’s a whole new level, folks. And it’s worth that extra 3 seconds of chop chop chopping. Trust me on this. I think these will become a frequent flyer (to our mouths) in this home. It was pretty stankin’ good, and easy. Oh, and healthy.
As if my very professional-looking photos weren’t convincing enough (and I know they were) [<-- joke], here are some nutrition stats for lentils to make you holla for daal…a. (If you didn’t get that, go here. Study up on your ethnic food, yo!)
- 1 cup = ~18g protein (!!!)
- High fiber
- Lowers cholesterol
- Blood sugar stabilizing (high fiber = no sugar overload)
- Pretty much crazy amazing for your heart all-around
- Excellent source of iron (w/out the cost + fat of red meat)
- Uber cheap (Oh, wait, not nutrition-oriented…nevertheless. Win.)
- Outrageously great percentage of daily molybdenum
- Fantastically folate-rich
- Mucho manganese
- Super awesome amount of phosphorous
- Packed with potassium
(See what happened there? Did you see it?)
And for your pleasure…because you know it’s the first thing you think of when I say Sloppy Joes:
FACT: I wanted to either be, or marry, Chris Farley when I grew up.
Yes. My parents worried about me.
Part of Pennywise Platter.
What’s your favorite no-meat dish?
This looks excellent!
It’s so good. It really tasted like the real thing to me!
hahaha love the video!
and that manwich looks crazy good….i’ve been wanting to try a lentil loaf but this may just have to come first
I typically make lentil loaf, but we were really happy with throwing this in the mix! It was great. And yes, that is one of my favorite SNL moments!
“Sloppy Joe, a-Slop, Sloppy Joe now!”
Yum! Good ideal. I’ve made sloppy joe’s with tofu before, but I think lentils would be even better!
I thought the lentil texture was great for this!
Love lentils. Red, green, brown, French. I ate a delicious French lentil salad yesterday with a mustard vinaigrette
Too many fave non-meat dishes to name!
That sounds delicious! What was the recipe?
It was from the Vegan Table- puy lentils simmered with bay leaf and thyme- sauteed chopped carrots and onions mixed in and then olive oil, dijon, red wine vinegar dressing, s+p and fresh parsley ::)
Thanks! I’ll have to try it out.
Me too! Mm
Mmm! Anything mustard has my name on it!
Well I’m glad you liked Chris Farley because I had a big crush on Adam Sandlar — not anymore, I grew out of that pretty quickly.
Favorite no meat dish – burritos made with refried beans, black beans, veggies and avocado.
Hahaha! Nice. So glad I’m not alone. We ate your favorite dish just the other night!
I lovee lentils, and like you mentioned, they are an inexpensive powerhouse food
Thanks for this recipe, I will definitely be trying it when I get home from school, and probably make some of the substitutions you mentioned! I enjoy foods a bit sweeter, so maybe I will try honey mustard? The possibilities are endless 
My favorite no-meat dish is anything with a sweet potato incorporated into it or used as an ingredient, they are one of my favorite foods!
Haha I was also a fan of Chris Farley- Tommy Boy is a classic
I thought honey mustard would have been rocking, so let me know how it goes for you! It’s still quite sweet, but not quite “Manwich HFCS” sweet
Oh, Tommy Boy…yes.
I love lentils! And like you, I don’t really have any recipes! I do make lentil tacos and that’s about it. Sloppy joes? YUM! I kind of miss them, so this will be a great recipe to try! Thanks!
Hope you like it!
I don’t even know who Chris Farley is :/
Or curried, with chickpeas and pumpkin….oh boy.
I LOVE lentils! I like them with cocoa powder and a bazillion other things
FREYA!!! Nooooo! Go find out who Chris Farley is and why he is one of the funniest persons to ever live! Now!
I don’t think I have a favorite no-meat dish. There are too many to think about! Have you ever made the Snobby Joes recipe from Veganomicon? This reminds me of it! It is SO good.
I think the one linked with Post Punk Kitchen is the same as, or similar to, the Veganomicon one, because it was titled “Snobby Joes” too.
I made a similar dish last week – love how it turned out! Must make it again soon.
Love lentils!
These look like the jam!
My favorite no meat dish is Kath’s Colorful Rice and Beans. I have eaten it for lunch three days this week and supper once. I know. I may just be addicted. lol.
Haha…uh oh. I don’t think Sloppy Joes should look like jam!
Oops. I’ll have to check out the rice and beans recipe; my husband wants to start having one rice and bean meal a day. Thanks!
Ha, I am the very same with lentils! I cook with them a lot but never really use a recipe. That’s the magic of lentil I guess, they pretty much always turn out. (Except when you simmer them too long and they get burned to the bottom of the pot so bad it has to be thrown out. Not that I would know about that…)
Ha
Lentils are just so easy — they forgive us when we don’t know what we’re doing, and don’t have a plan! 
Looks absolutely yummy! How many servings does this make?
Hmm… With sides, it should give you about 4-6 servings (more if you add extra lentils). Maybe more, but my husband can EAT
So it’s hard to tell 
Thanks Katie. Made it this morning (yeah, I tend to not cook dinner at actual dinner time – in the morning no one else is up yet to annoy me crowding the kitchen haha) and I love it. I’ve never had actual sloppy joes so I don’t know how it compares, but it’s quite good.
I love your unconventional cooking schedule
Glad you liked it! I can’t wait to make ‘em again myself 
I have been looking for a sloppy joe alternative, giving it a try very soon!! Thanks
Hope you like it! Let me know how it goes
Ohhh,I was hoping to put Mama Pea’s recipe for Sloppy Josephine’s on our menu for next week, but, yours looks so good I might to make yours instead. And, they definitely look kid-friendly which is a must around here. Our favorite no-meat dish is anything with the Portobello Mushroom. My husband insists on it being on our weekly menu in some form or another. Thanks for this recipe excited to give it a try.
Mmm…portobellos are my favorite. Hope you like these if you make them! I am sure Mama Pea’s version is great too, so either way you win!
I love lentils, and was just thinking about sloppy joes the other day. I am going to put this on the menu for this week!
Let me know how it goes!
Looks good! I’ve never been a big lentil fan, but I haven’t tried them in that many recipes. I need to try this one!
If you do, let me know! We loved it
Favorite meatless meal: modified ratatoulli – yum! Eggplant, yellow squash, zucchini, lots of onions, roma tomatoes on top and lots of olive oil, oregano, basil, S&P & garlic. Just made it last night and the kiddos were in heaven! Looking forward to trying the sloppy joes!!
Cheers,
Teri
Oooh. Can I come over for dinner the next time you make that?
your food looks great!
i have a vegan sloppy “bean and lentil” joes recipe I came up with a few months ago. Super easy and the family digs it.
Thanks Averie! Yours sounds good too
YUM! Love using lentils to make burgers!!
So good! I think they work especially well in this recipe — the texture is spot-on
Looks yummy! Minus the onions on top. Gah, I hate raw onions!
WHAT?! Um…I hope we can still be friends. Because that was almost a deal-breaker. (Kidding! But…seriously. Hate them?!)
This looks really good. But what does do lentils taste like? What kind of texture do they have? I don’t think I have ever had them I’m new to meat-free cooking, still trying to become a convert
Is it such that I could sneak it by my family without too many eye rolls and gagging noises?
Hmm… how to describe lentils? They have the texture of a large seed mixed with a bean, almost, kind of like a firm, flat pea…? And they taste a little nutty and beany. I’m not really sure how to do them justice! If you are worried about sneaking it past your fam, and they are used to meat, you can start small by replacing 1/2 the meat with lentils, perhaps. Or using half beans (so it’s almost like a chili)/half lentils, to sort of ease them into it. Or you can just spring it on them and see what happens!
My husband is from the Midwest (meat, potatoes, corn, fake cheese, and ranch are the staples), but he has fallen in love with lentils, so there is hope! 
I would recommend using French lentils at first, as they are smaller and might not seem as foreign to new tasters.
Katie,
Could you help a newbie like me learn how to cook lentils? Planning to make these tonight for the fam. Hope everyone likes them. I bought the French lentils, just like you, because I aspire to be just like you. HeHe. Thanks!
Hi Lisa! You are too cute <3 Congratulations on embarking on your lentil adventure! The nice thing about lentils is that they are really hard to mess up -- especially in a recipe like this, where if they get a little overcooked, it's no big thang. Here is a basic method:
1) Measure out the amount you need (assume that your dry measurement will rehydrate to about double the size; so for this recipe, dry measure about 6 cups).
2) Into a large pot, measure out water in the same amount as dry ingredients plus a little extra (i.e., for this recipe: ~6 1/2 cups).
3) You can bring it to a boil with lentils already added, or add lentils after it is already boiling. Some think letting it boil first may reduce gaseous problems later
4) After things have boiled for 5 minutes, reduce to medium-low heat. Cover, but make sure some steam can escape.
5) Stir occasionally. Add more water if it looks like it's drying out.
6) Test a few lentils to see if they are the right texture; I like mine to be just a bit al dente in the middle so I know I'm chewing something, but soft enough that I don't feel like I'm eating a nut
7) When ready, add salt.
(Should take anywhere from 20 minutes to 45. Seriously, it varies a lot!)
I know this seems super loosey-goosey, but the truth is, no one has a set, perfect method for lentils! I usually cook mine in a crockpot by dumping in some unmeasured amount of water and lentils, shrugging, and walking away for a few hours…Ha! But, I know it can be nerve-wracking to try something new like this. Let me know if you have more questions. And here is a link to another site that I glanced at that might be a little more detailed and helpful than I am
Let me know how it goes!
xoxo
Katie, Thanks so much for all your help in cooking the lentils. They were great and the fam even liked ‘em. Thanks again for your super long tutorial.
Ha — super long it was
But, sounds like it was totally worthy it! Yay!
Oh wow. This was delicious! More delicious than I thought it would be, even though I just realized I forgot the vinegar! Totally satisfied the BBQ craving I’ve been having. I know it’s not BBQ, but it was close enough for my tastebuds. Lentils are one of my favorite foods, so that made it even better.
YAY! Thanks so much for letting me know Sarah!
Hope it becomes a regular on the rotation 
Sounds very good! Do you think I can substitute tomato paste ( not a great fan of it) with something else?